Improved Airport Security Scanning.

↓ Transcript
Narrator: You ungrateful air travellers complain about our naked picture scanners.

Traveller: I feel violated!

Narrator: We let you opt out, but you still complain.

Traveller: Don't touch my junk!!

Narrator: Well, we have good news! Little though you deserve it, our new scanners will show only a naked stick figure on the screen.

Traveller: What a pleasure to be scanned!

Narrator: As you can see, the stick figure image bears no resemblance to you, thus preserving your privacy and making the scanning experience more enjoyable for you.

Narrator: Optionally, the operator can flip a switch to examine the junk of high-risk travellers (that's you, dear reader) on the screen as stick-figure junk.

Traveller: This is so much fun!

Panel text: censored to keep this announcement family-friendly

Title: Improved airport security scanning.