Feb18
New York Times Hacked.
Editor’s Note
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↓ Transcript
Two men and a wavy-haired woman are seated at a table.
Man: And remember, our readers are too stupid to care what software we're using.
Wavy-haired woman: I'll just say our “computers” got hacked. They'll barely understand even that.
The next panel shows a straight-haired woman holding an open newspaper on which the title can be seen: The New York Times.
A short-haired man is seated comfortably in an easy chair.
Straight-haired woman: Honey, look! A detailed report in the New York Times. They got hacked for four months.
Straight-haired woman: I love their thorough articles. They leave nothing out. Journalism at its best.
The next panel shows only the short-haired man in the easy chair.
Short-haired man: What software were they using when they got hacked?
Off-panel voice: They were using computers, not software. They mention computers about thirty times. They never mention any software.
The next panel shows only the straight-haired woman, still holding a newspaper.
Straight-haired woman: Oh look, the Washington Post says it got hacked too!
Off-panel voice: Let me guess. Only computers, no software?
Straight-haired woman: Only computers. No software.
The next and final panel shows a newspaper cutting on which can be seen a headline in a decorative font: Facebook Gets Hacked with Java.
Below this headline is text in a conventional newspaper font: Hackers were able to use security hole in Oracle’s Java software.
In the same panel two buildings are seen in perspective, as if we are looking upward towards the buildings.
One building is a tall skyscraper with a sign on it: The New York Times.
The other is a shorter but broader building bearing the sign: The Washington Post.
Voice from New York Times building: Bad Java!
Voice from Washington Post building: Bad bad Java!
Voice from New York Times building: Bad bad bad Java!
Voice from Washington Post building: Bad bad bad bad Java!
Title: New York Times Hacked.
Man: And remember, our readers are too stupid to care what software we're using.
Wavy-haired woman: I'll just say our “computers” got hacked. They'll barely understand even that.
The next panel shows a straight-haired woman holding an open newspaper on which the title can be seen: The New York Times.
A short-haired man is seated comfortably in an easy chair.
Straight-haired woman: Honey, look! A detailed report in the New York Times. They got hacked for four months.
Straight-haired woman: I love their thorough articles. They leave nothing out. Journalism at its best.
The next panel shows only the short-haired man in the easy chair.
Short-haired man: What software were they using when they got hacked?
Off-panel voice: They were using computers, not software. They mention computers about thirty times. They never mention any software.
The next panel shows only the straight-haired woman, still holding a newspaper.
Straight-haired woman: Oh look, the Washington Post says it got hacked too!
Off-panel voice: Let me guess. Only computers, no software?
Straight-haired woman: Only computers. No software.
The next and final panel shows a newspaper cutting on which can be seen a headline in a decorative font: Facebook Gets Hacked with Java.
Below this headline is text in a conventional newspaper font: Hackers were able to use security hole in Oracle’s Java software.
In the same panel two buildings are seen in perspective, as if we are looking upward towards the buildings.
One building is a tall skyscraper with a sign on it: The New York Times.
The other is a shorter but broader building bearing the sign: The Washington Post.
Voice from New York Times building: Bad Java!
Voice from Washington Post building: Bad bad Java!
Voice from New York Times building: Bad bad bad Java!
Voice from Washington Post building: Bad bad bad bad Java!
Title: New York Times Hacked.